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2011 Jargon Awards

I often listen to Lucy Kellaway (Financial Times) on the BBC World Service and came across some prizes for best ‘Jargon’ in 2011. She gave awards for the following categories:

The Sound and Fury Cup – the CEO who makes the best public assestion saying nothing.

1st – “We will accelerate our leadership across our five priorities and compete to win in the core” Cisco’s John Chambers

2nd – “Going forward, we are focused on aggressively managing short-term challenges and opportunities and we remain committed to delivering our mid-decade plan and serving a growing group of Ford customers.” Alan Mulally of Ford

Worst Euphemism for Firing People

1st – In saying that 17,000 people are losing their job, Nokia suggested that they are “being managed for value”.

Most false use of percentages over 100%

1st – “I am a mere 1,000% committed to my new job”. Devin Wenig of Ebay – one wonders how much above 1,000% he would be if he was really committed.

2nd – “I am 100,000% committed to Australia being the best team in the world”. Tim Neilsen former Aussie cricket coach

Worst Job Title
1st – Executive Vice-President in charge of the Energy International Business Line – GDF Suez

2nd – Global transfer Pricing Go To Market Leader – Ernst & Young.

The Global Flannel Award for Utter Gibberish

1st – “Our $22bn company creates unique time to value through a comprehensive suite of innovative solutions that helps clients win in the Human Age.” Manpower Group

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Categories: Eco Comedy
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